Is it okay to develop affection for the guy next door?

A couple of times, we’ve fell in love with someone we thought was right for us just because they were there when they were who we needed. Some other times, we’ve awkwardly been in love with the next person to us that, we weren’t able to fathom how love happened.

To be more clear, you’ve found yourself loving the guy in the next cubicle at your work place. Love that grew because he was able to answer all your ethic questions, put you through marketing strategies and grab you a cup of coffee while he gets his.

You’ve crushed over your neighbour thinking maybe he’s the right guy because you bumped into one another at the mall on two occasions and have subsequently visited the mall together. You have the same taste of music and he assisted you with a bucket of water when your room’s tap wasn’t running.

And, you have also found yourself loving that guy simply because you see him everyday at the bus station. Infact, you dated him and didn’t know how to explain to your friends how you met, how you guys found out you loved each other and wanted a relationship. Eventually, you broke up because you finally realized the feeling wasn’t what you thought it was.

Considering all these, you’ve decided to ask if those feelings you’ve had have actually been right and it was your character/attitude that couldn’t pull the relationships through or maybe they’ve been wrong all along. You wonder why you’ve caught feelings for so many people only for them to fly away like butterflies. You ask, “What exactly have these feelings been about?”

It’s okay to develop affection for the person next to you and infact you will do so a lot of times. The hormones in your body aren’t there to play tinko tinko, they’re there to cause tides depending on the situation you find yourself. When you find someone of similar character or a feature you have an affinity for, you get certain hormone rush, your body relaxes into their system and you feel comfortable doing a lot with them.

You might have so much compatibility that you choose to step up your game to home building or your compatibility level might be only sufficient for friendship. As much as your emotions might be in play at three times, it is up to you to figure out which level of relationship best suit you two. This is because, most of us have made mistakes, forcing things that weren’t meant to be hence, end up being sceptical about developing affections for the new harmless person next door.

It is your job to be able to checkmate yourself when these feelings start building, and know what kind of game you want to play with your heart. And most times, all you have to do is give it time and feelings will sort themselves out.

If you come asking me over and over why you feel drawn to that guy, who just move in, I’ll give the same answer. It is normal to develop affection when you meet someone that has a feature or character you desire but it is up to you to figure what you really want to do with it.


A relationship either with the opposite or same sex who is a friend in this case is usually sweet to begin but often times a lot happen as the road gets thinner and these persons get closer. So many questions begin to pop up like;

“Where on earth did I meet him/ her?”
“What was I looking at when I made him/ her friend?”
“Why do he/ she simply derive joy from getting me angry?”
We all have been in one of those kinds of scene where we have to ponder on the qualifications that got us in a relationship with some people in our lives but then I got to tell you that you need to stop asking those questions and begin to see the reasons you made them your friends.
Seriously, I must say that no one has it all and most times we drain our loved ones such that we end up not finding the sap we really desired in them. At this junction only one thing stands and that is LOVE. Yea! LOVE! That is the only light that is unquenchable in any relationship. 
You see, God loved us SO he gave us His dear son. That’s much of a sacrifice you know, but then He let it go because he loves us. We need to begin to see people in our lives as our lovers such that even when all they display are some set of flaws we still have the strength to love them. Love is divine and it is what got you attracted to them. You saw something lovable in them; say beauty, attitude, charisma, career, strength, etc. and you chose to be with them. You’ve got to sacrifice your most desired things to be with these people. Forget their flaws!
Love endures all things because it is divine and so you need to begin to endure all things for these people. They are never going to be the perfect persons you want them to be if you keep expecting them to be perfect but they can grow beyond your expectations if you do not limit them with your own expectations. Stop expecting them to be perfect.
Another fascinating thing love does is to forgive. Love forgives all our inadequacies. He never sees them; he blinds himself to them such that he only sees those attractive things in us. So, you need to learn to forgive. Forgive everyone who has hurt you. Let go of the past and love these people as long as they remain in your life.
Cultivate the love nature.