Save That Coochie For You And Maybe For a Worthy Sex

Have you heard Don Jazzy, Big N and Kiss Daniel’s new song titled, My Dear? You should download it as it’s my present to you for making a trip to this post.

Some time ago, I had a conversation with a friend and at some point, she mentioned, “sex for the first time.”

“Sex” is one word that will cause my ears to become extra attentive when in conversation with female friends. And, “Sex for the first time”, is that conversation that pulls me back when I already walked away from a discussion. For whatever reasons you’re thinking, I enjoy discussing this not so often discussed topic in African gatherings, even if I’ll be the silent party.

So, my friend and I discussed and I enquired about the guy who is about to get this big bite. Because, the last time I checked, babe wasn’t in a serious relationship and as much as I know some folks don’t need a relationship before getting laid, that wasn’t the case for either of us.

However, contrary to my expectation, there wasn’t a special guy! Sister was just thinking. And, I assisted her in discarding the thought. Our thoughts can lead us to trouble you know? Sex might not be trouble but some times, the thought of it is trouble.

I discarded her thought because, the holy book encourages being undefiled and when you consider the level of attachment that sex builds, you really might want to have your first time full fledged penetrative sex with someone special. Someone worth the sin. Someone worth spending the days of tribulation with, should in case rapture happens while you’re getting fucked.

Moreso, over time, I’ve come to love my body more and more. Yea! After having to deal with candidiasis after some kind of humping and living in panic for days over my health after a kiss with some guy, I’ve truly learnt to be protective of my body and anyone who allows me to protect theirs. As much as I love kissing, I’ve learnt to let go a lot of kisses as a way of keeping my immunity.

Sexually transmitted diseases are real and the figure of infected persons in Nigeria is so crazy. Asides HIV/AIDS which you know about and think, “Okay, no penetration, just a little dance around the corner,” you could contact yeast via fingering. You could contact HPV via kissing. And above all, you could become less productive in your daily routine, because of the fear of having contacted a disease or being pregnant.

And, the funny thing is, the female body is fucking vulnerable to diseases. Worse still, for an African girl who had genital mutilation. Just a little dance and you find out that something has gone wrong with your baby snail.

However, you and I can save ourselves lot of stress by saving that pussy. By saving it till we meet someone who’s gonna blow it up with a big-O while we stay healthy. You can think about it in your spare time or at work. You can imagine sex in the kitchen, getting drunk at a bar and ending up in an elevator or even in a car.

Just make sure you’re not reckless about your health, your coochie and always think about God and Rapture! You know God loves you anytime and can be all forgiving. But on the day of rapture, lol, you might not have expected it.

Now, can I have a story from you too? Share with me, kindly.

I had dry humping and craved for my period like never before, afterwards

2016 saw me as a final year student preparing to defend my project. I had always avoided boys and partying while in school because I didn’t want to make any mistake. After my final exams, I just felt I needed to live a little and try something I wouldn’t do normally. I met this guy on Facebook and we became call buddies then he invited me over to his place in Sapele meanwhile, I schooled in Awka.

At first, I didn’t think I was going to honour his invitation but then one Saturday came and I needed a new adventure so I took the next available bus to Sapele. The funny thing was I didn’t know Sapele was very far from Awka. I thought it was close like Asaba since they were all in Delta state.

I arrived at his place at night and I must say things got pretty steamy from there. I went from being an innocent virgin to an about to be disvirgined. I remembered my mother’s threats, advice and prayers and I knew that was not how I wanted to lose my virginity. Luckily for me, this guy respected that. But a lot of “Dry-humping” went on.

Dry humping

I spent two days with him and I finally returned to my abode with sore thighs gotten from him resting in between there while we were dry-humping. It was then the guilt set in, then the anger and self-rebuke. Then I got scared, what if his sperm had swam into my body and fertilized an egg? I wasn’t ready to be a mother yet. I was still young and yet to explore life. What if I was forced to marry him because of the pregnancy? My life would be so miserable.

I thought of all the things I was yet to achieve. I couldn’t run away because then, life would be very hard for me. I gave abortion a thought and it seemed the only way out. My thoughts scared me! How did I go from being innocent to thinking of killing an unborn baby. It was then I knew not to judge people who find themselves in this situation. Everyone makes mistakes.

Normally, I always dread my periods because of the menstrual cramps but I prayed so hard for this particular period to come. I was willing to endure and even enjoy the pain. I prayed and cried to God to not allow me be put to shame. I even promised not to talk to any man at all. I eventually swallowed my pride and asked my friends for help and after laughing me to stupor, they said I couldn’t wind up pregnant if there wasn’t an actual penetration but I just didn’t believe them. I read online articles and I just couldn’t understand any of it.

Finally, my period came and I was so grateful to God. That still didn’t quell my fears. Months after I still checked my stomach to see if it was protruding with child because I’d heard of cases whereby people saw their periods and were still pregnant. It was a crazy period for me and I cut all contact with my ‘dry-humping’ partner because I believed him a spawn of the devil on a mission to wreck havoc to my life.

This is 2018 and I have a boyfriend who I’m so attracted to and it seems I’ve forgotten about my promise to God to steer clear of men. Lol.
I’m a modern-day virgin.

Dry-humping: This is the process of two people repeatedly moving up and down, back and forth on top of each other fully clothed or missing few pieces of clothing but the penis doesn’t come in contact with the vagina or even if it does, there isn’t any penetration.
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I Thought I was Pregnant- I was 22, Without a Job and Single!

“Oh well… I was 22 and had sex with someone; it was not a one-night stand and we weren’t in a relationship.”

Fourteen days after a non-penetrative sex on a day which I thought was my ovulation day, it was salient that I reminisced on my likelihood of having a fertilized egg which was probably implanted and had become a fetus in my womb. Since I expected my PMS to begin but it didn’t, I thought to myself, “Babe, what if you are pregnant? You know that sperm can swim from the entrance of your vagina all the way in, right?”

At the thought of pregnancy, I called to meet the guy who was my accomplice, to explain my concern to him.  When we met, for a moment, I did not know how to get the conversation started but of course, the deed has been done, there’s going to be a baby and we have to talk about it.  We discussed some trivial matters for some minutes and then I popped the question, “Timi, what if I’m pregnant?”

“Pregnant? How could that be?”, he was shocked!

“You remember the other day we met and you asked if I was ovulating? I think I was. And somehow, I’ve been worried about it.” Really, why would a guy who is having a sexual engagement with you be concerned about your ovulation at the end of the whole sexual escapade? Not even at the beginning or while you were kissing! Doesn’t it mean that he ejaculated and was curious to know your ovulation date so as to calculate whether pregnancy is going to happen or not?

Anyways, dude was shocked that I could be pregnant. He couldn’t wrap his head around it, “How can you be pregnant when I didn’t penetrate? When did sperm become gaseous?”

I had to lecture him, “Well, sperm can swim from the entrance of a vagina all the way in. Did you cum? Why did you ask if I was ovulating?” I wasn’t actually sure if he ejaculated or not. The only thing I was sure of is that he asked if I was ovulating.

…the conversation dragged on and on until he concluded by calling me a drama queen.

Am I really a drama queen?

At some point, he asked about my period and I told him I was expectant, that it wasn’t my due date yet. But for God’s sake I was not even sure of that! I mean, who calculates menstruation except the highly sexually active people. The ones who are actually expecting babies.

The next day, even though I didn’t feel giddy, dizzy or nauseated, I developed fever, malaise and headache. I became distracted and could barely concentrate on anything. I kept thinking and planning what I would do if I was pregnant for real:

1. I would not go home to embarrass my parents with a pregnancy out of wedlock at age 22.

2. If the guy seems to play naughty and offers that I abort the pregnancy, I would simply collect the money and evacuate that area. As much as I do not wish to be a mother yet, I do not wish to lose a pregnancy to deliberate abortion.

3. I would travel to a Northern state where I would live for the next 12months of my life and get a writing job, a job in the agriculture, rural development or journalism sector where I know I can thrive.

4. I would inform my mom over a phone call and tell her that I’ll be fine so, she doesn’t have to worry about me talk less of fainting at the fact that I am sexually active and even had the guts to have unprotected sex!

Oh dear! It was an indeed crazy day. I searched google for information as regards non-penetrative sex that resulted into pregnancy and read a lot of them that supported my claim. Some hours into my research, I stumbled upon a medical article that said that most pregnant women don’t feel a symptom until 6th week of pregnancy. If nothing else, I knew it wasn’t 6 weeks yet since the whole drama happened hence, I discarded some thought of tge symptoms I was feeling from being pregnancy symptoms.

My research went on and I read an article that highlighted the possibility of getting pregnant without penetration as very small. And then came the last article that saved my life from the trauma. It was a blogger’s similar experience which made me laugh and laugh at myself and eventually, helped me find some level of peace.

That blogger’s experience was the solace my mind rested on to find peace and the inspiration behind this post. After reading her story, I felt the need for more true stories like that and I realized my pregnancy experience is just one of the worrisome experiences that a girlfriend can have. Girls worry about many more things that we don’t discuss with people. Look at me. I couldn’t even tell my closest friends because we were supposed to be celibate. No! VIRGINS! Who would expect that I was messing around with a dick around my vagina?

I eventually went out on one of the evenings of those worrisome days, when I remembered there was still someone in the world that I could talk to. I visited a friend; not one of my closest friends but, she has never been the judgmental friend. She just knows how to be cool with crazy stuffs. I shared the experience with her, we laughed over it and I was super relieved. And she graduated from ‘not one of my closest’ to someone I want to be with everyday.

So, I decided to write about this. I also created a new email, specially for this blog. I want to read your crazy stories too. The ones you couldn’t tell anyone about. You can visit the ‘share your story’ page of the blog to share your story. I will wholeheartedly read and share (at your approval) on this blog. Maybe, just maybe a crazy girl would stumble upon the blog in few years time and your story would be her inspiration and solace when she is confused.


Good company on a journey makes the way seem shorter.

Izaak Walton

My period came at its appointed time. Five days of bleeding that I badly, wanted to be over.