Commitment, Cheating and Separation: A Begging Question

I read this story recently. It was about a young individual who had a good relationship with their dad. This individual trusted their father so much, banked on him like a model and felt betrayed when they realized their father and mother would be divorcing because dad had been seeing a younger woman.

This story spurred a long-existing curiosity that I’ve had about monogamy, cheating and Divorce.

I’ve read the Bible to some extent to know that we were neither created to be polygamous nor monogamous. The characters of the book had different marital choices. Abraham, the most faithful, connived with Sarah to make a baby with Hagar. Jacob chose to marry Leah and Rachel because he did not get his desired wife the first time. That story is hilarious but has some really nice elements of true love. But, I get it. People make their decisions based on options and/or circumstances. However, the rate of separation from cheating in our generation is increasing rising and it makes me wonder if it is okay for cheating to really be a deal-breaker for people who want to stay married.

I mean, I’m not saying I would like for my partner to cheat on me. Ideally, I would like to have someone who cherishes me and chooses only me. But, how easy is it to actually choose only one person for several decades if we intend to spend our lives together forever? I hate cheating and rather than cheat, I would rather clearly tell my partner that I no longer have an interest in being with them but, what if the other person does not hate cheating like I do and does not respond to developing affection for someone else in the manner in which I respond? Does this make them wrong and bad?

What exactly is the greater problem with cheating? Is it the indulgence in an affair with some other humans, the disrespect that comes with one’s partner having these affairs without informing them or the thought of one’s partner having the thought of actually choosing someone else? Why exactly do we hate cheating?

Also, I would like to question the concept of forever. I’ve had about 5 serious relationships as a 20+ lady and I feel like I have no idea what makes people stay together. I am also beginning to lose hope in the idea of marriage or a happy home. Many people around me do not have what I think a happy home should look like and I can count the number of long-term marriages around me where there aren’t rumors of cheating or some other disheartening situation. Does companionship have to be forever? Can we maybe take breaks when we feel like we do not want to be with our partners?

This whole thing is just complicated and I really hope that I am able to find answers.

Submission by: Anonymous