“Oh well… I was 22 and had sex with someone; it was not a one-night stand and we weren’t in a relationship.”
Fourteen days after a non-penetrative sex on a day which I thought was my ovulation day, it was salient that I reminisced on my likelihood of having a fertilized egg which was probably implanted and had become a fetus in my womb. Since I expected my PMS to begin but it didn’t, I thought to myself, “Babe, what if you are pregnant? You know that sperm can swim from the entrance of your vagina all the way in, right?”
At the thought of pregnancy, I called to meet the guy who was my accomplice, to explain my concern to him. When we met, for a moment, I did not know how to get the conversation started but of course, the deed has been done, there’s going to be a baby and we have to talk about it. We discussed some trivial matters for some minutes and then I popped the question, “Timi, what if I’m pregnant?”
“Pregnant? How could that be?”, he was shocked!
“You remember the other day we met and you asked if I was ovulating? I think I was. And somehow, I’ve been worried about it.” Really, why would a guy who is having a sexual engagement with you be concerned about your ovulation at the end of the whole sexual escapade? Not even at the beginning or while you were kissing! Doesn’t it mean that he ejaculated and was curious to know your ovulation date so as to calculate whether pregnancy is going to happen or not?
Anyways, dude was shocked that I could be pregnant. He couldn’t wrap his head around it, “How can you be pregnant when I didn’t penetrate? When did sperm become gaseous?”
I had to lecture him, “Well, sperm can swim from the entrance of a vagina all the way in. Did you cum? Why did you ask if I was ovulating?” I wasn’t actually sure if he ejaculated or not. The only thing I was sure of is that he asked if I was ovulating.
…the conversation dragged on and on until he concluded by calling me a drama queen.
Am I really a drama queen?
At some point, he asked about my period and I told him I was expectant, that it wasn’t my due date yet. But for God’s sake I was not even sure of that! I mean, who calculates menstruation except the highly sexually active people. The ones who are actually expecting babies.
The next day, even though I didn’t feel giddy, dizzy or nauseated, I developed fever, malaise and headache. I became distracted and could barely concentrate on anything. I kept thinking and planning what I would do if I was pregnant for real:
1. I would not go home to embarrass my parents with a pregnancy out of wedlock at age 22.
2. If the guy seems to play naughty and offers that I abort the pregnancy, I would simply collect the money and evacuate that area. As much as I do not wish to be a mother yet, I do not wish to lose a pregnancy to deliberate abortion.
3. I would travel to a Northern state where I would live for the next 12months of my life and get a writing job, a job in the agriculture, rural development or journalism sector where I know I can thrive.
4. I would inform my mom over a phone call and tell her that I’ll be fine so, she doesn’t have to worry about me talk less of fainting at the fact that I am sexually active and even had the guts to have unprotected sex!
Oh dear! It was an indeed crazy day. I searched google for information as regards non-penetrative sex that resulted into pregnancy and read a lot of them that supported my claim. Some hours into my research, I stumbled upon a medical article that said that most pregnant women don’t feel a symptom until 6th week of pregnancy. If nothing else, I knew it wasn’t 6 weeks yet since the whole drama happened hence, I discarded some thought of tge symptoms I was feeling from being pregnancy symptoms.
My research went on and I read an article that highlighted the possibility of getting pregnant without penetration as very small. And then came the last article that saved my life from the trauma. It was a blogger’s similar experience which made me laugh and laugh at myself and eventually, helped me find some level of peace.
That blogger’s experience was the solace my mind rested on to find peace and the inspiration behind this post. After reading her story, I felt the need for more true stories like that and I realized my pregnancy experience is just one of the worrisome experiences that a girlfriend can have. Girls worry about many more things that we don’t discuss with people. Look at me. I couldn’t even tell my closest friends because we were supposed to be celibate. No! VIRGINS! Who would expect that I was messing around with a dick around my vagina?
I eventually went out on one of the evenings of those worrisome days, when I remembered there was still someone in the world that I could talk to. I visited a friend; not one of my closest friends but, she has never been the judgmental friend. She just knows how to be cool with crazy stuffs. I shared the experience with her, we laughed over it and I was super relieved. And she graduated from ‘not one of my closest’ to someone I want to be with everyday.
So, I decided to write about this. I also created a new email, specially for this blog. I want to read your crazy stories too. The ones you couldn’t tell anyone about. You can visit the ‘share your story’ page of the blog to share your story. I will wholeheartedly read and share (at your approval) on this blog. Maybe, just maybe a crazy girl would stumble upon the blog in few years time and your story would be her inspiration and solace when she is confused.
Good company on a journey makes the way seem shorter.Izaak Walton
My period came at its appointed time. Five days of bleeding that I badly, wanted to be over.