What to expect when on a date with a jerk


“Not every date invitation should be honoured unless it’s for records sake.”

Examinations were over in school and this birthed the dawn of playtime till further notice. As for me though, I was held back in school because of some errands I had to run before going back home for the holidays.

On one of those days in which I stayed back, I went to a cyber café to have my passport photograph taken. And just as I was set for my shots, a not so attractive guy walked up to me and says, in a dramatic way: “Girl, you too fine!’

As ladies love compliments, this guy’s dramatic style cracked me to my ribs. His actions made me laugh and when he asked for my number, I didn’t hesitate as I thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to have such jovial guy as a friend.

So, one day, our jovial mister, Charles invited me over to his lodge for an evening hangout and since I was less busy, I honoured the invite. When I got to his place, we talked for some minutes, he introduced me to his friends and at a point, he decided he needed to buy me food. How nice! With this decision of his, our quest for a good restaurant began. 

The first restaurant we visited was one which offered only African swallows which I don’t eat outside my home because of lack of trust for most restaurant’s cooking conditions.

However, in a bid to sell her product regardless of my lack of interest in her swallow, the restaurateur hinted that she had fried chicken and turkey.

To my amusement, Charles, cut her short saying, “She says she doesn’t want chicken!!” without an initial interrogation of what I want. Who does that?

He continuously spurred out the statement with such enthusiasm just because he didn’t want to burn his money.

And, even though I was less bothered about chicken or not, that act from him didn’t go down well with me. I began seeing my host in a very different light as he kept hammering on me not wanting chicken.

We continued our stroll till we got to a canteen in which I opted to have just a drink. The attendant asked if we wanted Malt and my ever zealous host again took the wheel and replied, “No”.

At this point, I hated what pushed me out of my house in the first place. I opted for Sprite and contacted a friend of mine whom I could use that opportunity to see since he stays close by.

Seeing that my interest had begun to wane in our supposed hangout, my host decided to play the hopeless romantic. So, he invited me to take a sip from his drink using the same straw he was using. Ewwww!!! That was gross but, I politely declined.

Afterward, he offered to buy me another drink but, I declined again. My interest was lost at this point and I just wanted to leave.

As we walked to the bus stop, he began proposing his love for me. He said he’d do anything for me. “Very accurate!” He said he’d pick me over his mother. Why did I do this to myself? He said he could stop school if I asked him to. “Hilarious!”

He kept on persuading me to walk slowly but, I was in no mood for that. So, I kept moving forward. I got to the bus stop, boarded a vehicle and from the look on his face, I knew that he knew we weren’t going to see each other again.

Thinking back now, I remember his teeth that reminds me so much of that of the minions in The Smurfs. My date with him is fit to be called “the bad date.” He was just a box of comedy with no proper, polite reasoning. He was a total jerk!

Have you ever had a bad date? We’ll like to have you story!